


Deadpool addresses NCIS guest reviewers

by Phillipe363



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, NCIS
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22261822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phillipe363/pseuds/Phillipe363
Summary: Wade Wilson is pulled in to address some guest reviewers of various TIVA, McGee/Abby, other shippers, Tony DiNozzo stans, and in particular one guest who really needs to be called out all on attacking my Just Collateral Damage story over on Fan Fiction.Net. Pretty much just posting on this site so both sites have the same equal number of stories I publish.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 10





	Deadpool addresses NCIS guest reviewers

**Hello guys**

**I decided to address some nasty guest reviewers, and one in particular.**

**On with the story**

* * *

In an underground autopsy room

Wade Wilson in his Deadpool suit strolls through the double door as they slide open to find a person tied to a table, with a gag over their mouth. Wade turns to look at the imagery camera and waves.

"So, gentlemen, ladies and whoever else yes I am the amazing Deadpool happily played by Ryan Reynolds. You know the guy who got screwed over in Green Lantern, screwed over in more than one way as Deadpool in X Men Origins Wolverine because one of the higher-ups hated me and yet my film made more money than well the jokes on him. Let's not talk about Blade Trinity, now I bet your all wondering why I'm even here?" Wade asks.

A muffled groan of something from the guest on the table.

"Not sure what that is because I don't speak idiot but yes you are the reason we are here. Or rather I am, haha. Not from you know the various guest reviewers well over thirty of rabid TIVA fans, a few Tony DiNozzo stans who like Tony Stark fans can't handle Tony getting called out on his crap. Hey, you know you guys need to go forum the dual Tony victim club. Or even the annoying McGee/Abby or McGee/Delilah, Harm/Mac shippers or Nick Torres/Ellie Bishop shippers" Wade says with a shake of his head.

Walking over Wade runs his fingers along the table like a spider towards the tied-up person "No, no I am here because this guest user calling himself DU has got himself noticed by Phillipe363 the author to call me out all by myself. Like I know don't feed the trolls, ignore these clown's blah, blah sometimes you can't. DU since you're so desperate for attention well you've got it" Wade says grabbing ahold of the gag "Here's what going to happen, I'll remove this, you spill out your stupid reviews in order they are on the page and I put this back on while I prove how wrong you are."

The person gaged makes some sort of movement.

"Oh, what if you don't want to play this game? Then" Wade chuckles "I'll just take out my sword, chop your head off and talk through it. Though I really don't want to get my sword blooded from stupid."

The person gives some mouthed response with eyes wide in fear as Wade nods with removing the gag.

"Ok first, I hate to say it but your story is terribly confusing. You have characters from another TV show and a movie that have no connection to either tv show in your story. In some parts you have too much background info or not enough and it is very confusing to read. Not to mention where you chose to write your background info doesn't make since either. We don't know who, what when or why Mcgee was kidnapped. Your last story abruptly ends and other than Ellie and Mcgee being in a relationship with each other, has no connection with the first story you wrote. Further more I would like to know more about why Ellie was attacked by Torres? Again your grammar, spelling and sentence structure are in serious need of and editor! I am mean seriously please!" DU says.

Wade puts the gag back over the person's mouth.

"First of all, I have characters from another TV show or film that has no connection to NCIS. Oh my, the horror" Wade says in a dramatic, female mocking voice then serious "Listen DU which stands for Dumb User of fan fic review page. This is fan fiction you dumb brainless twerp. Meaning? The writer can do whatever he wants or crossover with anything he wants. Since you clearly have reading issues among other issues is why you like other morons like you couldn't read the FAN FICTION tile of this site."

Wade takes a breath then starts "Wait, if you're referring to Harm and Meg they are from JAG which started NCIS. Go do your research, ah wait that's too hard. If you referring to Jack Ryan, the character first started in novels decades back when written by Tom Clancy and Jack Ryan has started in several films, with just recently getting an Amazon prime TV show. But again, this is fan fiction, get it? The author can do whatever he wants."

DU mutters something through the gag when Wade reaches down for one of his knives making him stop.

"Gee the writer has too much or too little background info? Make up your mind, oh wait it's not even your story you dumb idiot. He can have whatever info he wants. Also, did you even read the story? It very clearly establishes why McGee is kidnapped, when he was kidnapped and where from. It's all in there. Next, the previous story did not end abruptly, the story was McGee and Bishop getting together. Once that was achieved, why continue? Besides its Phillipe363's story, he can do whatever and that goes for his sequel being its own story" Deadpool says angrily then takes a breath "Okay for Why Ellie Bishop was attacked by Torres? Again, didn't you read the story? It's pretty clear he was sent to kill her."

After a moment "Okay let's clear this up given how address it in all three reviews you left is Phillipe's grammar and error issues? First of all, he does the best to his ability, second, he knows he's not perfect and like he's said personally in responses to people who have attacked his stories for this before he knows his work is readable. The guy has been writing since he was six years old and has put in over a decade of practice, Phillipe363 can write readable works" Wade says.

"Here's what I don't see is you writing anything DU. So why don't you instead of criticizing an author for his spelling and grammar go write, ah wait maybe you can't or tried to only to give up and now get your kicks trying to bring others down" Wade says then pretends like he's whispering "Besides when Phillipe363 put your reviews onto word document when writing this your reviews lit up with errors like hippies on pot."

Reaching down Deadpool removes the gag again.

"Again Grammar, spelling and sentence structure. Also too graphic and violent! Of course there was similar violence in both the shows, but not that gross. When you write a chapter: start by brainstorming your ideas. Then write paragraphs for each idea and put them together. Reread and correct grammar, sentence structure and misspelled words. Reread to make sure it is right. Your story is very confusing in places. Again Why do they want to kill Ellie and why did they kidnap Mcgee? Neither of those plots are clear." DU says.

Wade puts the gag back with busting out laughing for a good few minutes until stopping.

"Oh, wow to graphic and violent? First, this is a T rating; second oh my aren't you traumatized for life having read something so violent? You poor little snowflake" Deadpool says patting DU's head "It's okay, it's alright you'll be just fine. Just let Uncle Wade take care of you… I mean we are in an autopsy room and the things I could do with the tools in here are so many options."

Wade jerks his hand away "Good grief touching you? I'll have to cut my whole hand off to get that scum off, I've been in garbage dumbs nicer than you. Anyway, I hardly think the violence in Phillipe's fic is gross, next you're telling him how to write his story by brainstorming? Why not use those ideas to go write your own, oh wait you probably can't. Next, how do you know he didn't brainstorm and gather his ideas only you've got hating issues you can't figure out that his story is progressing along like it's planned. Again, it's not confusing to read, you just have reading and comprehension issues."

Deadpool removes the gag as DU spills out his latest.

"That is the end? Really? sorry, you really need to work on your writing in general." DU says.

Putting the rag back up Deadpool face palms and shakes his head in disbelief.

"This the end? Um did you not even, and I'd say I am right about how you didn't read in the bottom author's notes where Phillipe363 clearly states there is another chapter to go. And if that wasn't enough the story is still marked in progress meathead" Wade says.

Looking at the camera "To bring this to close DU and every other hate-filled guest, including the deleted ones making this 40 or I think with DU now over that, this is fan fiction. You people have miserable, pathetic lives with needing to attack others to make yourselves feel good. You've people ran off writers from this site due to your hate-filled toxicness. But your attacking the wrong guy, even with your death threats he's not leaving, Phillipe's never going to do what you want, and you're only making yourselves look like pathetic fools. WestAllen, Laurel Lance fans, Tony Stark stans, and others have tried only to fail" Wade says "Same goes for you DU."

Deadpool looks down at the guy before turning around with heading to walk out, then stops with turning around.

"Your punishment is going to be left alone down here where no one can hear you scream like a cry baby," Wade says.

The doors open as Deadpool walks out.

* * *

**Hope you all enjoyed this, well annoying guests who've been attacking my story, especially DU probably not but for the rest hope you did. Let me know what you think in a review if you want.**

**Until next time**


End file.
